I want you to know…

In Potent Alchemy this month I write of my Dad, his dying and what that means for me. I also write about love:

“But what does Love have to do with work – to us in our professional lives? Being a part of the emerging Presence in Action (PIA) Community-in-Practice has been opening me up to the boldness of love and the strength involved in loving practice. It is uncommon to talk about love in a professional context… and yet, this, I believe, is what has been growing in me and between us as our PIA praxis has evolved.” 

I am in awe of and deeply humbled by those people I accompany and who accompany me. We have been forging new landscapes of human transformation; flowing through and forging new channels of exchange; learning and loving learning in and through each heartfelt encounter.

A while ago I found myself writing the poem below, following a flurry of POPIA trainings and Community-in-Practice gatherings. Once again this year, amidst a similar phase of activity, I have found my heart once again cracked open wide. I am moved to share my poem as a testament to what is unfolding and enfolding between all of us each time one of us upholds another ‘on the mat’.

I want you to know…

I want you to know
I want you to know I love you
Not because you cracked through the self-protective shell of me.
Not because you reached in and soothed the throbbing hurts in me.
Not because you tended the wee girl’s broken heart in me.
Not because you held the needy, victim stray in me.
And not because you lovingly attended me.

I want you to know I love you
For awakening me to what I’d failed to comprehend in me.
For evoking emotions, exposing overlooked beliefs in me.
For calling out my wiser self to tackle what was playing me.
For charging me to lay to rest what has hitherto unravelled me.
And for helping me to ground myself to safeguard my integrity.

I want you to know I love you.
Not in the clawing, cloying way that strangles out of need.
Not with desire raiding each waking hour we be.
Not with favours stained by conditionality.
Not duped by delusions of eternal surety.
And not chained by threats demanding ‘else or me!’

I want you to know I love you.
Not for what you give

but for who you clearly are.
Not for what you do but for what in you shines through.
Not for how you play life’s game but for how you hold the space.
Not for your agile mind and frame but for how you flow with grace.

I want you to know I love you
for daring to be you;
for boldly being more true;
for setting free the loving you
who’s loving me –
so you can see
the you I see,
back through

I want you to know
this Love is of the Divine.
I want you to know,
through me – it’s you it finds.
I want you to know
such Love is
ours, not

I want you to know
I want nothing from you.
I want you to know
I want everything for you.
I want you to know
I am here for you.
I want you to know
my loving you,
is purely,

© Louie J N Gardiner, 14th October 2017